"The only reality is now, everything else is a projection or a fantasy."
I've been pondering a lot about being present. Living in the moment. Insert another corny phrase meaning the same thing.
So much of our time is spent either projecting the past...
..."Ugh, why did I eat a whole pizza last night?"
..."I miss my life in Houston"
..."Why did I major in education? My career field is so limited"
..."We should have gone with other renters."
..."I really regret..."
...or, our thoughts are spent fantasizing the future. Some excitement, some worries.
..."CAN'T WAIT FOR ITALY!!!"
..."What am I going to do when we move back to Houston? Will I find a job? How long can we afford me not working in Houston? When will we move back?"
..."What am I cooking this week?"
..."I need to get home and do laundry, clean the bathroom, and then I need to catch the bus to go babysit."
Now, don't get me wrong. It is great to reflect on the past. Hopefully, it gives you a thankful heart and helps you grow as a person. Also, a little excitement and planning for the future is not bad. But, how many moments are missed because we are so busy projecting the past or fantasizing about the future?
Yesterday, it looked like this for me.
I was worried. My phone wasn't working. What if the family I'm babysitting for calls me and reschedules? What if Daniel needs me and I'm not there? What if, what if, what if?
I made the choice to stop the worrying. I would call the company and see, but before that, I needed to just be there, present.
I was walking outside. I asked myself, "How do I feel?" Yes, I felt worried. But I also feel the breeze. I feel the warm sun on my bare arms. I'm safe. In this moment, this very moment, I. am. fine. I'm alive, I'm still a part of reality, and that is all that I need.
"What do I see?" I see people that are in my moment, my reality. I can choose to fantasize about what could never happen in my own little world, or I can extent a kind smile and hopefully make someone else's moment a happy one. So I did, I smiled at every passerbyer, and some smiled back, and some were so consumed in their own thoughts that they didn't notice me.
"What am I thankful for, in this moment? Not what has happened, not what might happen, but what IS happening right now?" Other than the glorious weather and warm smiles from others, I'm thankful for love. I constantly feel loved, by God, by Daniel, by my friends and family. Even though they aren't a part of that moment in time, I always feel their love. I'm thankful that I can walk the streets of London by myself and be safe. I feel love, I feel safe.
And I feel this overwhelming sense of joy, peace, and freedom when I take time to experience the very moment that I am living in. That is the only reality, the only thing that is real and present.